Gloomymilest

As I stumbled to my journey, I sighed. The memories then came flooding in — softly and loudly. The memories of who I am. The people who stayed. The people who left. Those filled with joy still make me smile, even today—no matter what has changed. Those filled with pain still haunt me sometimes, vividly—no matter what has changed. The struggles I've outgrown still make me proud of who I am, even now—no matter how much the current struggles have multiplied. The glory and the failure. The warmth and the ache.  The kindness and the cruelty. From me. To me. Through me. From them. By them. Despite them. What I gave. What I took. What they left. What I held. I cherish them all: The storms and the calm. The rage and the release. The echo and the hush. The loops that repeat — The chains I’ve stopped resisting.  I cherish them all — I embrace them. I accept them. I forgive them. I let go. I surrender. I love.

Y ou’re still here. not because it’s easy. not because you always wanted to be. but because you chose to stay — again and again — even when the reasons felt blurry. even when no one was watching. this isn't about celebrations. no candles. no confetti. just a quiet nod between you and the mirror. a kind of peace that doesn't need an audience. you’ve grown in silence, in solitude, in the moments no one asked about. and somehow — that became your strength. whatever comes next, you’ll meet it as you always do: with your own rhythm. your own rules. and the fire they never saw coming.

Tawa ku letih, Tawa ku lelah. Ia berteriak tersedu-sedu rintih karna harus selalu menjadi garda terdepan dalam setiap peperangan,  ketika tawa ingin duduk sejenak ia dipaksa untuk keluar. Ia dipaksa untuk bekerja, ia dipaksa untuk melawan. Melawan pilu nya hidup, bekerja demi menghidupi lilin yang sudah hampir habis terbakar.  Tawa ku tak tahu menahu apa penyebabnya, kenapa harus aku yang melewatinya, bagaimana cara menghadapinya, kapan bertemu dengan jawabannya, tawa ku babak belur mati-matian senantiasa menemani diriku dalam sendu dan sakit. Tawa ku sudah hampir kehilangan makna dan moralitas dalam benar-benar mengetahui mana yang patut untuk disalami dan mana yang sebenarnya tak patut untuk dihampiri. Tawa ku bingung dan heran, dalam diam dia ingin sebuah kebenaran. "Mana yang harus kupercaya sekarang?", Tawa ku mulai gelisah kenapa terus-terusan dia yang harus berkelana dan berekenalan dengan banyak perkiraan. "Dimanakan amarah itu?" , "dimanakah air mata i...